The Bee Blogger

I got this email early this morning and can't wait to hear what you think about it. :-)

The North Vs. the South :

The differences between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained.....

The North has Bloomingdale, the South has Dollars Generals.

The North has Coffee House, the South has Waffle House.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, the South has .45's .

The North has double last name, the South has double first name.

The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard green.

The North has the Rust Belt , the South has the Bible Belt.

The North has lobsters, the South has craw fish.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH. . .......

In the South: - If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a 4X4 drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly, Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait at the same store..... Do not buy food at this store.

Get used to hearing " You ain't from around here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol, truck" or "big'ol boy". Most Northerner's begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed Killin..." is a valid defense here.

If you hear Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of or even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised that ten years old own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerner's...... After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.

Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.

Your kin would get a kick out of it too!