The Bee Blogger

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see husband along the way,
cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

You Know You're Over The Hill When...

1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

2. You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

3. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.

4. You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.

5. You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order.

6. You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Cumbaya..

7. You keep repeating yourself.

This is a must read for all Texans, used-to-be Texans, adopted Texans or wanna-be Texans.

JUST TEXAS
Pep , Texas 79353
Smiley , Texas 78159
Paradise , Texas 76073
Rainbow , Texas 76077
Sweet Home , Texas 77987
Comfort , Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side, Texas 77423

Want something to eat?
Bacon , Texas 76301
Noodle , Texas 79536
Oatmeal , Texas 78605
Turkey , Texas 79261
Trout , Texas 75789

This came to me via email from one of my friends, enjoy!

Mexican Words Of The Day

1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.
Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.

2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car
There's not mushroom.

3. *Shoulder*
My fren wants 2 become a citizen,
But che didn't know how to read,
So I, shoulder.

4. * Texas *
When I'm not home,
My fren always Texas me,
Che wonders where I am!

5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza.
I got mine piece
Then che got herpes.

6. *July*

We engage with who has the right and forget what is the right thing to do.

The heavies’ thing you can carry is your own hate.

Careful with your words, they can cut your own tong.

If you want your dreams came true, don’t fall sleep.

From all the things that you own, your expression is the most important.

The best vitamin to have friends B-1.

The happiness in your life dependent in the quality of your thoughts.

Searching for happiness is the fight of your life.

Nobody said that life was easy; only promise that it worth the shot.